Gratefully Always

As it turns out, today will be a collision of past, present and future ---

Around the beautiful table set to Downton Abbey music, seven precise settings,

We will gather - all of us with our pasts, some connected and some not -

Bringing our memories to this new and yet quite old table -

Here they've all sat before in such an arrangement, while I have not.

Where they all were thirty-nine years ago today, I cannot know.

Full well, every fiber of my being knows exactly where I was at each minute of this day.

A plethora of stories and histories, spoken and unspoken, we'll each bring -

To gather with the leader of this changing clan  which is bound by so many feelings.

My prayer is that each of us will be ready to embrace the new present and the unfolding future with joy even as we tightly hold our pain, our loss, our missing loved ones.

This table may be set for seven, but far, far more will be seated

Yes, far more......

For our loved ones will always come with us to this table --

Gratefully Always.

Just a Few Questions, Ms. Castro

How does it feel?
                          Really hard to describe ---

What will you do on Friday?
                          The day will be weird and I don't know what to do ---

What have you been thinking about?
                          I'd love to elaborate, but feel overwhelmed & constricted ---

What are your plans?
                          Gratefully, they aren't just my plans anymore ---

Where have you been?
                          That's hard to explain and would take far too many words than my sparse
                           style allows for --

When did you know?
                          When they all talked about their long marriages and ------

Why did it bother you so much?
                           Now, that's a hard one - really no clue - it came out of the blue ----

How have you changed in the past 39 years?
                           Unbelievably, impossible to describe -- - really, it'd take
                           far too many words ----

Where's the silence gone?
                          Not far at all, accessible really, it's me who has gone ---

Do you think you'll come back to the silence?
                          Well, there's no choice - I have to - it's my lifeblood ----

What does God think of all this stuff in your head, in your heart?
                           God wonders when I'm going to sit down in silence to pray ----

Why are you finally writing tonight?
                           Because I have to -- I have to remember who I am -- I have to connect --

What's kept you away?
                           Worries about raising someone's ire, fear of speaking my heart ----

Has that really kept you quiet in the past?
                           The past has never been the present so I don't know -----

What will you do on Thursday?
                           Give thanks at a new table with new family ---

What will you do on Friday?
                           Give thanks for Rod and the life we shared: Bless it, let it go ----

What will you do on Saturday?
                            Happily help George with the green egg and ham.

Do you have more clarity after this little chat?
                            Actually, I do. Thanks for taking the time to ask me all these things --

Do you have anything to add?
                            I do --- I've found since my last post that true love can hold the most
                                        painful things this world throws at us. If I wanted to use more words
                                        I'd write about that. Again, thanks for asking.

You're welcome.