Tonight I received an email from an old friend of my parents and it started with, "How is your mother getting along? We sent her a Christmas card but as you had indicated she might not respond."
No, she didn't respond because she thinks he's someone who worked at a restaurant in Libertyville, Ill., where she and my Dad used to go in the 1980's.
When I talked to her on Christmas Day she said, "I got cards from all these people I don't know, but I think they worked at that restaurant." My Mom's always loved the idea of people working for her so as she moves deeper into the fog of dementia it makes sense to me that she's starting to place extraneous people into such a group. Soon everyone will be her cleaning lady, accountant, cook, waiter, or hairstylist. She always loved beautiful jewelry, lovely clothes, expensive meals out, good wine, and keeping track of her money. But, all of that has changed now.
Last week she received a small package from me with two pairs of quite inexpensive slacks with stretch waistbands. On Christmas she'd told me she only had one pair of pants. Of course, this wasn't true, but that doesn't really matter at this point. The facility director told me she was very happy with them and Mom told him she's going to write me a thank you note.
She's most likely written it in her head. It won't be coming in the mail. She just can't write anymore. When I sent her new address to people she'd lost touch with over the past several years I mentioned she couldn't write back. Many of them have known her since the early 1960's, but now they just work at the restaurant.
Should I tell them?
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